“NDIRIKUTI, SHOW US THE MONEY!”

Ehee, they say the economy is growing. Kodwa, ngaphi? Where is it growing — underground with the gold?
Every week the big men in ties clap hands for themselves: “Foreign currency receipts up! Reserves strong! Inflation down!”

But down here at the kraal, we only hear those words when the radio batteries still have life. The only thing that has gone up is the price of cooking oil and the size of politicians’ bellies.

They say we earned US$9.2 billion, up from US$8.5 billion. Haiwa, zvakanaka! But where did it go, nhai?
Because Chapo the sweet vendor is still struggling to sell one doughnut at a time — on credit- to the mahwindi who keep on crying pakaipa!
Buhle the hairdresser has become a social media troll — always twiddling her thumbs on livestreams, never plaiting.
Chimuti & Sons can’t pay salaries, and they’ve renamed the company Chimuti & Some Days as they play hide and seek with creditors.
And poor Gogo MaNcue in the village—she’s now drinking plain hot water and calling it tea with “spiritual sugar.” Because the only thing her kids send her on the phone are forwarded messages proclaiming that God hears all prayers.

They tell us the ZiG is “stable.” Stable like a dead donkey — it doesn’t move, doesn’t kick, doesn’t buy bread. They say it’s “gold backed.” Maybe, but is it fool’s gold? Because every time we try to use it, the shopkeeper looks at us like we’re offering him a leaf from the bush.

Now, these reports talk of “confidence in the banking sector.” Heh! The only confidence we have in the bank is that it will take all our money.

Can someone bring that Mthuli here under the Musasa tree.

So I, Mbudzi, can ask on behalf of the kraal people:
If the economy is booming, why is the pot still empty?
If foreign currency is flowing, why are our pockets dry?
And if inflation is down, why is our spending power low?

Maybe, just maybe, the numbers are grazing in the wrong paddock.