Today’s truth is uncomfortable because it forces us to deal with a grey area Zimbabwe rarely talks about — the intersection of alcohol, sex, consent and responsibility.
Let’s be clear from the start:
This truth does NOT apply to cases where a woman is drugged unknowingly, force-fed alcohol, coerced, threatened, manipulated, intimidated, or assaulted.
We are talking about a very specific scenario:
✔ Adults go out together
✔ They drink together
✔ Both (or all) parties become intoxicated
✔ Sex happens
✔ The next day, the woman claims she “could not consent” because she was drunk — even though the man (in some cases multiple men) was equally impaired.
This is an uncomfortable but necessary conversation.
1. Intoxication affects everyone — not only women
When all people are voluntarily drinking or partaking of other mind altering substances, all lose judgment, all lose inhibitions, and both can make reckless decisions.
Yet when things go wrong, society often demands that:
- the women be treated as having had “no faculties,” while
- the men be expected to have been the “sober adults” making perfect decisions.
But if everyone was impaired, why is only one gender held accountable for impaired judgment?
We cannot assign two different levels of responsibility to two equally intoxicated adults.
2. “I was drunk” cannot always become a shield
Some women genuinely regret their decisions the morning after. But:
Regret is not rape. Poor judgment is not rape. Embarrassment is not rape.
And when intoxication becomes a default excuse, it weakens real rape cases, because predators hide behind these grey zones.
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We must protect victims — and the integrity of genuine sexual assault prosecutions.
Women must take responsibility for their own safety
We must tell girls and women the truth:
If you choose to drink:
- Know your limits
- Choose your environment
- Choose your companions
- Choose your exit plan
- Choose to be responsible for yourself
Because intoxication removes your ability to judge danger, and no one can protect you from yourself.
Agency comes with responsibility
We cannot preach empowerment while simultaneously promoting helplessness. Either women are an adults with agency, or they children who need supervision.
One cannot be both depending on convenience. When a woman claims she could not consent because she was drunk, while the man was equally impaired, she inadvertently sends a message:
- “I am allowed to be irresponsible; he must be responsible for both of us.”
That expectation is unfair, unrealistic, and legally shaky.
The truth is:
If both parties were too drunk to decide, both parties were too drunk to consent — and both are responsible for putting themselves in that position.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH
Drunkenness does not turn men into designated guardians and women into passengers without agency. Alcohol impairs everyone. And adults must take responsibility for the choices they make.
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