Across Zimbabwe’s social media timelines, we frequently encounter stories of young women talking about surviving toxic, abusive relationships—not because they are naïve, but because they are financially cornered.

Some tell their stories voluntarily, speaking about partners who controlled them financially, emotionally, and sexually.
Others describe relationships that looked glamorous from the outside but were built on dependency, secrecy, manipulation, and fear.

Beneath these stories lies one of our society’s most uncomfortable realities:

Soft prostitution—the exchange of affection, loyalty, or silence for material benefits—creates a power imbalance that makes abuse almost inevitable.

It is a form of inequality that hides behind roses, rent payments, fancy dates, grocery receipts, and iPhone upgrades.

And it is dangerous.

1. Dependency becomes a leash

When a partner controls the lifestyle:

• the car
• the rent
• the hair and nails
• the travel
• the clothes
• the “soft life image”

…they also control the options.

Fear of losing comfort becomes stronger than fear of staying in danger.

Women in such situations often say things like

• “I knew it was wrong, but I needed the money.”
• “I stayed because I had nowhere else to go.”
• “I couldn’t go back to the life I had before.”
• “He threatened that he would harm me if I left him.”

Dependency becomes the cage, and the blesser becomes the jailer.

2. Abuse is ignored because the lifestyle feels like compensation

Many victims convince themselves that:

• “At least he provides.”
• “I can’t complain; others have it worse.”
• “He hits me, but he loves me.”
• “As long as he pays my bills, I can manage.”

This mindset normalizes violence and teaches women to equate self-worth with what a man can buy for them.

It also teaches men that money entitles them to control, humiliation, or cruelty.

3. The soft-life aesthetic hides real pain

Social media glamorizes “sugar relationships” and “blessers” as empowerment or hustle.

But behind every curated Instagram reel is often:

• emotional manipulation
• threats of exposure
• isolation from family and friends
• financial entrapment
• sexual coercion
• unpredictable violence

The soft life becomes a trap life.

4. Women who depend on blessers carry shame alone

When these relationships turn abusive, society tells women:

• “When it was going well, you were busy enjoying the soft life.”
• “You knew what you were doing.”
• “Why didn’t you just leave?”

Yes, these women make questionable choices, but the judgement we rain down on them is also part of the vicious cycle.

The shame keeps them silent.
The silence protects abusers.
The cycle continues.

5. The inequality is the violence

A relationship where one partner has all the money, all the options, and all the power will almost always slide into:

• control
• manipulation
• emotional violence
• physical harm
• threats and blackmail

Material dependence is not a boss move—it is vulnerability.

And when young women reveal their experiences, it becomes clear how deep the scars of soft prostitution can run.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH

When women rely on blessers to survive or to elevate their lifestyles, abuse becomes normalized—and leaving becomes nearly impossible.

This is not a story about judgment.
It is a story about power.
And how power, when unbalanced, easily turns violent.

As a society, we must create environments where young women can aspire without depending on dangerous men and where economic benefits should be framed as a gateway to exploitation.

Because the “soft life” should never cost a woman her dignity, her freedom, or her safety.